Early Maladaptive Schemas:
Emotional Inhibition
Early Maladaptive Schemas:
Emotional Inhibition
Do you find it difficult to open up to others? Maybe you feel uncomfortable when people express their emotions? Perhaps you tend to think of yourself as more rational than emotional? If so, you might have the emotional inhibition schema.
To answer any questions you may have regarding this schema, this article will cover the following topics:
- What the emotional inhibition schema is
- The causes of the emotional inhibition schema
- Signs of the emotional inhibition schema in childhood and adulthood
- How the emotional inhibition schema affects a person’s life
- Treatment methods for the emotional inhibition schema
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What Is the Emotional Inhibition Schema?
The emotional inhibition schema is one of 18 early maladaptive schemas (EMS). People with this schema tend to suppress their emotions, even positive ones. They also monitor their behavior and communication with others rigorously and try to inhibit others from expressing emotion freely, as it causes them discomfort. For these reasons, the emotional inhibition schema can lead to feelings of numbness.
Maladaptive Schemas
The emotional inhibition schema is one example of an early maladaptive schema (EMS). If you wish to learn more about this maladaptive schema, as well as the others, check out our article, “The Ultimate Guide to Early Maladaptive Schemas.”
What Causes the Emotional Inhibition Schema?
In general, early maladaptive schemas develop in childhood when a primary caregiver is not attuned to their child’s needs. Typically, the emotional inhibition schema develops because the caregiver was not capable of handling the emotions of their child. The child learns that displays of emotions or emotional behavior will be shamed, mocked, punished, or rejected. Additionally, the caregivers may parent in an over-protective and rigid way by discouraging playful, spontaneous behavior. Consequently, the child learns to hide their emotions, and monitor and suppress spontaneous behavior out of fear or shame.
Often caregivers whose actions create the emotional inhibition schema in their children have the same schema and so further reinforce by modeling it within their own lives. It is typical then that the entire family adopts the same view on emotions, creating an unhealthy dynamic. It should be noted that suppressing emotions in order to project an unrealistic image of emotional stability is still extremely prevalent within many cultures–although, in some, this may be improving.
Signs of the Emotional Inhibition Schema
Emotional inhibition is the unhealthy suppression of emotions and behaviors and it can lead to feeling numb and empty. However, these feelings can also be a symptom of many mental health issues, including post-traumatic stress disorder, anxiety, or depression. If you feel you may have a mental health issue instead of the emotional inhibition schema, it is important to seek professional help.
The signs of the emotional inhibition schema in childhood and adulthood are as follows:
Emotional Inhibition Schema in Childhood
Children with the emotional inhibition schema tend to keep their emotions hidden. Additionally, they may find it difficult to understand the emotions of others. This difficulty may mean they prefer to observe other children from a distance rather than get involved in activities. As a result, they might find it difficult to make friends, preferring their own company.
Emotional Inhibition Schema in Adults
Adults with the emotional inhibition schema tend to have difficulty sharing their emotions with others. As such, they may come across as distant, robotic, or cold. In part, this may be due to a lack of emotional understanding; they may be unsure as to how they are feeling and, thus, they may find it difficult to recognize emotions in others.
Often, individuals with the emotional inhibition schema find that they are incapable of feeling strong emotions, even when they want to–such as in situations where an emotional response is expected and accepted, e.g. funerals. This can lead to feeling empty, numb, and having a general indifference to life. Consequently, the sudden experience of emotions may feel scary. Despite this, people with the emotional inhibition schema may pride themselves on being more rational and less emotional than others.
Consequences of the Emotional Inhibition Schema in Adults
For individuals with the emotional inhibition schema, the thought of being overwhelmed by their emotions and losing control over their behavior may be scary. They may worry that if they let any of their emotions out, especially anger, they will lose control.
This anxiety over a perceived loss of control may mean that someone with this schema finds it difficult to be in the moment and react spontaneously. Inhibition of affection, sexual excitement, and play, combined with this need for control may result in problems with intimacy. Resultingly, these individuals may have a great deal of anger and resentment, but feel unable to express it. If they do experience emotion, they may try to keep it to a minimum and do so privately.
People with the emotional inhibition schema also feel uncomfortable or embarrassed whenever others share their feelings or become emotional–even regarding positive emotions. This can cause them to feel emotionally detached from others, making it difficult to make and sustain meaningful relationships. Often, they tend to avoid and withdraw from such relationships.
Due to their suppression of emotions and spontaneous behavior, someone with the emotional inhibition schema likely feels a great deal of stress in their everyday lives. In order to relax, they may develop unhealthy coping strategies; most commonly drug and alcohol misuse.
Emotional Inhibition Schema Test
If you would like to know how you would score on this maladaptive schema, as well as the others, you can take the quiz on maladaptive schemas here.
How People Cope With Emotional Inhibition
People with the emotional inhibition schema fall into one of three main ways of coping when triggered: Avoidance, overcompensation, or surrendering.
Avoidance
Those with the emotional inhibition schema may try to deal with it by avoiding anything that triggers it. Typically they may do so by avoiding contact with others, especially if emotional expression is expected. As this is often unavoidable, they may try to keep their contact with others superficial. If someone with the emotional inhibition schema does engage in intimate or close relationships, they may avoid words and actions of affection or act emotionally flat.
Overcompensation
Sometimes, people with the emotional inhibition schema overcompensate for their beliefs. This means acting in ways contrary to their belief that they should suppress their emotions and spontaneous behavior. As such, they may become very spontaneous in their behavior, acting without any inhibition. Equally, they may express their emotions without filter and propriety. This behavior may be more commonly observed whenever such individuals are under the influence of alcohol or drugs.
Surrendering
Some may deal with their emotional inhibition schema by surrendering to it. These people adhere to the belief that they should suppress emotions and spontaneous behavior. While internally they may feel emotionally flat and lonely, outwardly they may appear very calm and collected. Due to this, despite their dislike of emotional expressions, they may still attract individuals who open up to them emotionally–causing them discomfort.
Emotional Inhibition Treatment/ Therapy
Those with the emotional inhibition schema may need help becoming more emotionally vulnerable with others. Schema Therapy focuses on the therapeutic relationship and experiences of early childhood to challenge maladaptive schemas, like the emotional inhibition schema. It is important to note that while maladaptive schemas are difficult to change, with perseverance, consistency, and appropriate help, it is completely possible to improve.
Adaptive Strategies
Increase self-awareness
Make a list of when you are most likely to withhold your emotions and spontaneous behavior. For example, do you engage in this behavior more at work or within your personal relationships? Once you are aware of when your schema is most triggered, try to connect to your emotions. If this is initially difficult, try imagining how others might react in the same situation. Another technique you can employ is to journal about your experiences in the third person–almost as if you are writing a book about someone else. Once this becomes easier, you can switch to writing about how you felt at these times instead. Knowing when you are likely to be triggered and practicing these techniques will make it easier to recognize and act on your emotions when you are in these situations.
Challenge your rationale
“The greatest discovery of all time is that a person can change his future by merely changing his attitude.”
Oprah Winfrey
Ask yourself what the consequences of showing your emotions to others are. Are there only negative consequences? Or can emotions, if voiced with respect, help improve situations? For example, emotions help us make decisions, understand others, work well within a team, and create community. Make a list of the positive consequences of being more emotionally open with others and refer back to it whenever your schema is triggered.
Similarly, whenever you decide to be more vulnerable, make a note of how you think the interaction will go and then track whether that comes true. Take note of when things did not go wrong and refer back to them when you are triggered.
Seek out emotional experiences
Many people with the emotional inhibition schema feel they do not have emotions, however, this is untrue. You still have the full spectrum of emotions, you are just refusing to experience them out of fear or shame. Recognize that it is impossible to only inhibit certain emotions. The likelihood is that if you numb one emotion, you numb all of them. If you want to feel happier and more joyful, you need to embrace the full spectrum of your emotions.
It may be difficult to permit yourself to experience your emotions. An initial step may be allowing yourself to experience the emotions of others through fiction. Once you feel ready, seek out emotional experiences, particularly joyous ones. Some discomfort in these situations is to be expected and may be a sign that you are on the right track. Some activities you could try include; dancing, martial arts, board games, and expressive art. Some of these can be done by yourself, but over time try to be more expressive among other people. With practice, you will become less inhibited.
As you experience more emotions, you may have difficulty knowing what exactly you are feeling. Search for an emotion wheel online. Emotion wheels can help break down more complicated emotions into their most basic forms, i.e. disgust, fear, joy, anger, and sadness. Another clue to working out your emotions is to recognize how you’re feeling affects your body. For example, if you are angry, you may clench your jaw or hands. By connecting your emotions to how you feel within your body, you will gain a greater understanding of how you feel in the moment.
Practice vulnerability with boundaries
Once you are familiar with experiencing and labeling emotions, try sharing them with people you care about. Start small; for example, share something that made you happy that day and explain why. Once you’re comfortable with that, try sharing something that made you angry or sad. This may be easier to do with those who are already comfortable expressing themselves.
Being more emotionally expressive does not mean you no longer need to use your judgment. You don’t need to be vulnerable with everyone and in some situations, it may even be inappropriate. For instance, sharing your darkest insecurities with your boss may be a bad move. Being clear about what you are happy to express and to whom will help you feel safer about being vulnerable when those situations arise. Make sure that you share with supportive and open-minded individuals.
Seek therapy
If you have the emotional inhibition schema, you may need help changing your mindset and opening up to others. The most ideal place to receive this help is within a therapeutic relationship. But keep in mind that a schema develops over many years. While treatment cannot necessarily “cure” you, it can give you the necessary tools to better manage your thoughts and feelings.
McKay, M., Greenberg, M. J., & Fanning, P. (2020). Overcome Thoughts of Defectiveness and Increase Well-Being Using Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. New Harbinger Publications.
Padesky C. A. (1994) Schema change processes in cognitive therapy. Clinical Psychology and Psychotherapy, 1(5), 267–278.
Schmidt, N. B., Joiner, Jr., T. E., Young, J. E., & Telch, M. J. (1995). The schema questionnaire: Investigation of psychometric properties and the hierarchical structure of a measure of maladaptive schemas. Cognitive Therapy and Research, 19(3), 295-321.
Young, J. E., Klosko, J. S., & Weishaar, M. E. (2003). Schema therapy. Guilford Press.
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