Limerence and OCD: What is the Connection?

Many of us have heard of OCD (Obsessive-compulsive disorder), and some of us may have heard of limerence. When we dig deeper into these seemingly distinct constructs, we start to uncover an interesting connection.

Whereas obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) is a recognized mental health condition, limerence is not recognized as one, yet. However, a core component (often referred to as “stage” of limerence) refers to an infatuation, almost addiction-like feeling for the limerent’s object of desire. But what if this feeling goes one step further and turns into an obsession? Is there a difference between limerence and OCD then?

To understand how these constructs connect and how they can be distinguished, this article begins by defining what both OCD and limerence are, then highlighting the similarities and differences (e.g. emotion regulation, duration of symptoms, motivations).

What Is OCD?

Obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) is an intrusive mental health condition that is characterized by two main components: obsessions and compulsions.

OCD obsessions tend to come in the form of unwanted thoughts, anxieties, and ruminations. People with OCD typically attempt to manage these obsessions through ritualistic behaviors (compulsions), which can become increasingly more intense and compulsive over time.

Recent research suggests that over 1 million adults have OCD in the U.S.A.

The signs of OCD include obsessions:

• Fear of infection, including germs and contamination.
• Desire to have things in a certain order.
• Fear of losing control over actions or circumstances.
• Unwanted thoughts about the self, others, and the world in general.
• Fears of forgetting something important, or losing something.
• Intrusive taboo thoughts.

As well as OCD compulsions:

• Ritualistic actions, such as repetitive handwashing, counting, or flicking a lightswitch.
• Checking on things repeatedly, such as making sure an iron is off, that a door is shut, or the car is locked.
• Rearranging items so that they’re in a “perfect” order, such as by size or color.
• Repeating things silently, such as prayers, or narrating actions.

It’s important to note there is a difference between intrusive thoughts and obsessions, as well as a difference between ritualistic actions and compulsions. The defining characteristics of OCD are that obsessions and compulsions are uncontrollable, time-consuming, and disruptive to daily life.

LIMERENCE QUIZ

What Is Limerence?

As we define in our in-depth article on Limerence, it is a state of involuntary obsession with another person. It is a cognitive, physical, and emotional experience, which stems from the desire to be desired.

Whereas limerence may feel like love to those experiencing it, it is infatuation – a dopamine-driven trick of the brain. Limerence is an attempt to find comfort and exhilaration in another person. Sometimes, this may be an attempt to defer away from an internal problem, like self-attitudes, previous experiences, or current relationships (regardless of if the person realizes this or not).

Similar to OCD, limerence is also characterized by obsessions and intrusive thoughts, but also additional signs:

• Uncertainty about whether the object of affection (limerent object or LO) reciprocates feelings.
• Emotional dependency on whether the LO is perceived to return feelings.
• Hypervigilance towards the LOs body language and actions.
• Regular, often intrusive fantasies about the LO.
• Idealizing the LO, struggling to see them as a “real” person, and instead seeing them as “perfect”.
• Intense fear of rejection.
• Repeating cycles of limerence, characterized by stages.

The Link Between Limerence and OCD

Research has shown a conceptual link between limerence and OCD; researchers Willmot and Bentley noted that there was a consistent link between people prone to mood disorders (such as anxiety and depression) and conditions like obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) and limerence. This means that people with OCD may be more prone to limerent behaviors (as an attempt to distract themselves from intrusive thoughts). However, limerence can then become a new form of obsession.

Additionally, there may be similar neurological mechanisms underlying both limerence and OCD. Specifically, researchers have noted potential disruptions in the pleasure and fear pathways in both conditions; dopamine and serotonin pathways may fuel anticipation of pleasure (in limerence) and relief (in OCD), as well as obsessive thinking patterns. Interestingly, limerence has also been linked to ADHD, as both conditions involve difficulties with emotional regulation, impulsivity, and hyperfocus.

Similarities Between Limerence and OCD

It seems there is quite an overlap between these two constructs. In essence, the main similarities between OCD and limerence include the person experiencing high levels of anxiety and the need to engage in compulsive actions which help to maintain a stable mood. However, in both cases, the anxiety returns and perpetuates an escalating cycle of dysregulation and maladaptive behaviors.

Perfectionism or idealization is another similarity between OCD and limerence. Someone with limerence tends to idealize their LO, believing them to be “perfect,” and that this person is in the world to complete them.

In the case of OCD, the individual places a lot of pressure on making their environment and relationships the “ideal.” When someone with OCD ruminates specifically about relationships, including doubts about their feelings or a partner’s commitment to them, they may have relationship OCD.

Differences Between Limerence and OCD

There are some key differences between limerence and OCD:

1. The nature of obsessions and compulsions

Limerent obsessions and compulsions specifically revolve around a romantic interest; a specific person. In contrast, OCD obsessions and compulsions are much more broad; they can be about anything that causes and relieves anxiety.

2. Motivation

The motivation is also different between limerence and OCD. People with limerence have one objective; to achieve reciprocation of their romantic interest. Therefore, limerent obsessions and compulsions revolve around this aim. People with OCD, however, are solely striving to reduce anxiety and discomfort caused by their intrusive thoughts.

3. The form of emotion dysregulation

Another core difference between OCD and limerence is the form of emotion dysregulation experienced. People with limerence typically alternate between euphoric highs and anxious, depressive lows depending on whether they perceive their LO to return their affections. Therefore, limerent obsessions and compulsions not only alleviate anxiety, but they also often provide a sense of pleasure as they can maintain a (at least temporary) “high”.

In contrast, individuals with OCD feel intense anxiety about things being “just right” or in the correct order, which can be temporarily relieved by engagement in compulsions. However, the anxiety returns, often at an increased level, which fuels the need to engage in compulsions at a more elevated rate.

4. Sense of reward

Compulsions and obsessions in limerence are motivated by both reward and reduction of anxiety; limerent obsessions can take the form of fantasies, nurturing hope and positive mood. In contrast, people with OCD do not derive any pleasure from their obsessions and compulsions. It’s akin to reward vs relief.

5. Duration of symptoms

Limerence tends to occur in repetitive phases, characterized by stages. Once one cycle of limerence ends (after a duration of approximately two years), the limerent individual often looks for a new LO. In OCD, whereas symptoms can shift and evolve, the condition typically remains consistent unless a form of intervention is implemented (often cognitive behavioral therapy, or ‘CBT’).

LIMERENCE QUIZ

Final Words on Limerence and OCD

Limerence and OCD are both characterized by obsessive thoughts and compulsions. Whereas both involve intrusive, out-of-control thoughts and actions, there are also differences, such as the nature of obsessions and compulsions, motivation, sense of reward, and duration of symptoms.

A easy way to compare the two is the idea of reward vs relief. Limerence can create a sense of hope and something to aim for (reciprocation), whereas OCD drives towards relief.

It may be true that people with OCD are susceptible to limerence, as limerence provides a distraction from the fears and anxieties associated with OCD.

Both limerence and OCD can have a significant impact on daily life, relationships, well-being, and quality of life. Therefore, if you are experiencing overwhelming obsessions and compulsions, it’s important to talk to a healthcare professional for guidance.